Doubts and the Red Pencil

Writing is scary. Every time you have an idea, trying to put pen to paper, fingers to the keyboard, you are proving again that you can write. When I see some of the phrases, sentences and whole paragraphs, which come out of my head sometimes, it adds doubt that I can write well.

One of the things is the whole self perception of a writer. If I believe that I am the next best thing since Twain, Bellow, and Shakespeare, then I am more likely to keep the dross that forms on my page. But if I have something to prove--then I work and hone every sentence, polish each paragraph and pick the right words. Out of that page full of mangled sentences and confusing structure comes a thing of beauty. Seeing the rough draft come together is a humbling experience, fraught with writers block and doubt.

To see how much a little revision can help writing, I will show you the rough draft (or pretty darn close) of a paragraph for a recent magazine article I wrote:

"The performance of a bullet shot in the air is a widely debated topic among people. For physicists, it’s fairly simple. The bullet is fired and the force of gravity gradually slows the upward ascent of the bullet (along with the help of a bit of air resistance, but a little bit, as a bullet is supposed to be as aerodynamic as possible). At one point, it will turn and start coming down. Turning and twisting the bullet will drop towards the earth, accelerating because of the force of gravity, but at some point, the friction between the bullet and the air will create a speed where it stops accelerating and it drops to the earth at a constant speed. For a human skydiver, it’s about 150mph, but since the bullet is much more aerodynamic, it’s about 300meters per second. But there are variables in that. Such as bullet shape. How big is it? How many grains? Is it a hollow point? What is it made of?"

Ugh! painful! Here is the finished product:

"The performance of a bullet shot in the air is widely misunderstood. Here’s how a physicists would explain it. The bullet is fired and the force of gravity and air resistance gradually slows the upward ascent of the bullet until at one point, it will stop, turn and start coming down. Turning and twisting, the bullet will drop towards the earth, accelerating because of the force of gravity. But at some point, the friction between the bullet and the air will make the bullet drop at a constant speed. For a bullet, it’s about 270 feet per second. Many things though, such as bullet shape, how much the bullet weighs and what metal it’s made of, will affect the exact speed."

It's better, but I still don't know if it is totally clear. Again, those doubts.

When I think about it, I really cannot see Mark Twain, Saul Bellow or even Shakespeare churn out perfect prose in one go. They spent their time revising and editing just like the rest of us. The thing they had and we don't is recognition. Starting out, they all probably had the same doubts and frustrations as we did too. But they plugged on and wrote and wrote (and revised and revised), and eventually got somewhere. So what about passing the red pencil, eh, friend?